A Sex Educator’s Guide to Erotic Lactation: An Interview with Madison Young - Blood + Milk
erotic lactation

A Sex Educator’s Guide to Erotic Lactation: An Interview with Madison Young

Much has been written about changes that happen to one’s body after giving birth, specifically the shift from viewing the breast as a sexual body part to a life-giving one. 

For some people with breasts and their partners, lactating is a turn on and part of their sex play. Known as erotic lactation, this sex act is one which rarely gets talked about but is enjoyed by more people than one would guess. We chatted with Madison Young, author of The Ultimate Guide to Sex through Pregnancy and Motherhood and host of the feminist parenting podcast,  Wash Your Mouth Out to learn more. 

This interview has been edited for clarity and length.

What is erotic lactation?

Erotic lactation is the eroticizing of lactation or lactating bodies.

Erotic lactation can look different to different individuals but might include self-expressing milk during solo or partnered erotic play.  

Why do people enjoy erotic lactation?

Some lactating individuals enjoy the sensation of being erotically stimulated and the release of squirting milk from their body.  This is another way that a lactating individual can engage in play with their fluids and the pleasure of releasing fluids.  

Also, the concept of taking up space, making a mess all over yourself or your partner can hold an erotic charge and be super hot to many individuals.   

How could someone get started exploring erotic lactation?

[Erotic lactation] could be an extension of breast worship or manually massaging the breasts. [It] also opens itself up to oral stimulation of the breasts or nipples through lapping, licking, or suckling the lactating partner’s nipples, to release milk.  

Erotic lactation can lend itself to a myriad of different types of kink and role play experiences, including the adult baby or mommy role play or pet play. I have seen a latex cow outfit that is very sexy for kinky lactation play. The sky is the limit. Sexuality educator and artist, Midori says, “Kink is childhood joyous play with adult sexual privilege and cool toys.”  

I completely agree.  No matter your age, we all desire to play, connect, explore, and seek joy.  Kink is just one of the many spaces in which we as adults have the opportunity to explore different parts of our psyche through play and pleasure.  

As with any type of play, there are endless ways to explore and the most important element to start with is communicating desires, negotiation of play, and enthusiastic consent to explore a new aspect of sexual play together.

What are the risks and benefits of erotic lactation? 

The benefits of exploring erotic lactation are the same as exploring any aspect of our sexual selves. To explore our own pleasure, to know our own bodies, to reclaim and value our bodies not only for its utilitarian and laborious functionality but as a source of joy and pleasure.”

Exploring erotic lactation as a source of pleasure on ones own serves no inherent risks on its own. Be gentle with yourself and know that different individuals find different sexual acts to be enjoyable. Explore, check-in with your body and follow your own joy.

Is there anything else you want our readers to know about this practice?

Many kinks, fetishes and sexual experiences are often considered taboo.  [Erotic lactation] is a lesser talked about sexual experience due to cultural and social stigma surrounding sex, bodies, bodily fluids, and desires.  

It can be a rare experience that we have a safe space to openly talk about our fantasies and forms of erotic play that we might like to explore. Know that everyone has fantasies and desires and that articulating your fantasies and desires can empower our partners to openly communicate more frequently about the type of play they would like to explore. 

From Kait:

Like all sexual experiences, erotic lactation isn’t for everyone. It runs the risk of feeling like one ore demand on the new parent’s body to nurture someone else, or like they’re being viewed only as a lactating person and not as a lover. Ultimately, only you and your partner(s) can decide if you want to explore it, and if you choose, you can use Madison’s tips to get started. Even if you decide it’s not for you, you’ll have learned something valuable about your desires and turn-offs

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