Anal August may be over, but September ushers in a new butt-adjacent theme month: Prostate Health Month (and Prostate Cancer Awareness). In honor of that, here’s everything you need to know about the care, keeping, and pleasuring of the prostate.

What is the prostate?

The prostate is a small gland in people with penises.* It’s about the size and shape of a walnut, and sits low in the pelvis, below the bladder and surrounding the urethra.

The prostate helps with reproduction and orgasm. Prostate fluid makes up about 30 percent of ejaculate and is responsible for the bitter taste. This fluid protects sperm, helping it move more quickly during and stay alive longer after ejaculation.

prostate anatomy

Image by Duvet Days

Many people call the prostate the “male G-spot” or, for a more inclusive, gender-free term, the “P-spot.” That’s because many people with prostates report experiencing deep sexual pleasure when it’s stimulated, similar to the G-spot in people with vulvas.

What do I need to know about prostate health?

The prostate tends to grow with age. This can squeeze the urethra and cause problems with urination. Many people don’t have problems until later in life; however, sometimes people in their 30s and 40s begin to have urinary symptoms.

Common prostate problems  include inflammation (prostatitis), enlarged prostate (BPH, or benign prostatic hyperplasia), and prostate cancer.

If you notice any changes in your bathroom or ejcaulation habits, check in with a healthcare provider you trust. Some things you might notice are (Source):

  • Difficulty starting urination
  • Weak or interrupted flow of urine
  • Frequent urination, especially at night
  • Difficulty emptying the bladder completely
  • Pain or burning during urination
  • Blood in the urine or semen
  • Pain in the back, hips, or pelvis that doesn’t go away
  • Painful ejaculation

What do I need to know about prostate cancer?

Prostate cancer is the most common non-skin cancer for people with penises. Prostate cancer usually grows slowly, and most people do not die from it.

The most common risk factor is age. The older you are, the more likely you are to be diagnosed with prostate cancer. You have an increased risk of prostate cancer if you have a family history of it or if you’re African American.

prostate cancer

Image by Duvet Days

The U.S. Preventive Services Task Force (USPSTF) released new screening guidelines this year. Here’s a summary of what they recommend:

  • People aged 55 to 69 years old should make individual decisions about being screened for prostate cancer with a prostate specific antigen (PSA) test.
  • Before making a decision, talk to your doctor about the benefits and harms of screening for prostate cancer, including the benefits and harms of other tests and treatments.
  • People aged 70 years old and older should not be screened for prostate cancer routinely.

How can I take care of my prostate?

There isn’t a lot of research on preventing prostate issues, but here are four general good health ideas to follow:

  1. Eat more low-fat, high-fiber foods and foods with omega-3 fatty acids like tomatoes, cruciferous vegetables, fish, walnuts, and flaxseeds
  2. Be physically active
  3. Masturbate regularly
  4. Massage it (see below)

Some studies have found that regular masturbation and/or prostate massage reduce the risk of prostate issues and may improve overall erectile function. The studies aren’t of great quality (small sample sizes), but I support science that encourages freedom in pleasure!

How do I massage the prostate?

You can stimulate the prostate indirectly from outside the body or directly through the anus.

From the Outside

To stimulate the prostate externally, use your fingers or a sex toy to massage the perineum (or taint…the area between the testicles and the butt), pressing up like you’re pushing it into their body. You also can massage the root of the penis. Slide your hand down to the base of the shaft where it connects with the balls, and massage.

Play around with different sensations and amounts of pressure, but keep in mind, like the G-spot, the receiver may enjoy a lot of pressure—about as much as you get during a good shoulder massage. Always start lightly and work your way up! And always check in about what feels good and what doesn’t.

From the Inside

To find the prostate with your fingers, insert one (or more) into the anus with the pads of the fingers facing downward (the opposite of the come hither signal that’s recommended for the G-spot). The prostate is just a few inches inside the anus, towards the front of the body. Depending on the size of your hands, you’ll only go in to the first or second knuckle, making prostate massage a great option for exploring anal play.

Do you have any tips for making prostate massage easier and more fun?

Yes! Here are 10 tips to make prostate massage more pleasurable for everyone:

  • File your nails. You don’t want any sharp edges!
  • Use the pads of the fingers instead of the tip or nail.
  • Don’t forget lube! For fingers and penises, use a silicone or oil-based lube (just don’t mix oil and latex condoms). For silicone sex toys, try a water-based anal lube.
  • Worried about germs? Use a finger cot or glove. And don’t double dip—it might help to designate one hand for anal stimulation and the other for everything else!
  • Only use toys made for anal play. These have a flared base (or phalange) to stop the toy from disappearing into the anus, which has a surprising amount of suction.
  • Look for butt toys that curve down. My favorite is the Aneros line. It has options for everyone, from beginners to advanced users.
  • Try different positions. Doggie style, on your back with knees to chest, or on your stomach with a pillow under the pelvis are three great starting places. The key is that everyone involved is comfortable!
  • Go slow. Start with one finger or a small toy. You can add girth—if you want—as you get more comfortable.
  • Check-in about what feels good and what doesn’t. Want more pressure? A slower speed? A different motion?
  • Combine prostate massage with other sexy activities. Use a butt plug like the Njoy Pure Plug during a blowjob. Stick a finger in during intercourse. Pairing a sex act you love with something new makes it easier and more pleasurable.

*Using language like this acknowledges that not all people with certain genitals are the gender that was assigned to them based on those genitals. Some men have vaginas, some women have penises, and some people with vaginas or penises identify as neither male nor female.

Featured image by Charles Deluvio

Get our weekly digest for advice on sex, periods, and life in a female body


Continue the conversation


  • I use the N Joy Pure Wond for prostate massage and it’s addictive when you start having mind blowing orgasms . It takes a little figuring out the best position to use it . I use it sitting in my lazy boy recliner reclining back slightly Insert it . I use the small end and put it so the curve is facing your testicles and go in intell you reach your prostate then you can rock it back and forth or side to side don’t use a lot of pressure on it you don’t want to make it sore in their. I sit with it between my legs and hold it in place while I masturbate and squeezing my sphincter and that’s how you do it .


Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *